Toddler Wont Poo on the Potty?
Part 2
Having a tough time getting your todder-in-training to go POO on the potty?We're gonna dive right into talking about why you can't get your toddler to go poo on the potty. We're going to be talking about poop y'all.
My mommy clients and my potty training consulting clients are always asking me about this one specific problem: they can't get their kiddo to go poo on the potty! A majority of my consulting appointments are all about this! Why they can't get their kiddos to go poop on the toilet or even the small little toddler potty on the floor.
As a nanny and a child caregiver for over 39 years you can imagine I've potty trained a lot of kiddos! I urge you to take a look at my youtube potty training video series parts 1 - 5. You'll probably find a lot of tips and tricks in there that will help you with this.
So here I'm going to cover some very important tips and tricks that you can implement during your potty training process to avoid those poo poo problems. This is actually a pretty common issue. Most toddlers get the pee part down pretty quickly. Depending on the age, depending on the developmental stages, it's the poo part that always takes longer to learn and become comfortable with. Poo is the hard part! That's the hard part: the poopin'!
A lot of times when a kiddo is afraid to go poo-poo on the potty they'll ask for a diaper or a pull-up, or even underpants if that's what stage they're at. But they want something enclosed and comfortable to go number two in. They'll run off to another room or their bedroom or a playroom or behind a door or in a closet or behind the couch behind the curtains to go have a poo in private. So you want to make sure that you're watching them closely for their cues so that they don't run off and hide to their favorite hiding place to go have their poo! Watch for the body language, "potty language". You want to encourage them to be near a potty or a toilet when their poo urges start to come.
Depending on the age of your child they might not be self-initiating just yet. They might not be asking to go to the bathroom or telling you: "Hey I need to go to the bathroom" or "Hey I feel the poo-poo coming" But even if they are at that stage and they do tell you when they need to go potty, I wouldn't rely on your child to "tell" you when they need to go poop. Especially if it's something that they're trying to avoid altogether. If they run off and go hide to go number two - then they might not come up and tell you "Hey I gotta go poo, I'm gonna go hide and go poo now." You know what I'm saying? They'll probably just go do it. They'll sneak off at a time when you're busy or in the middle of doing something and they know you're not watching and they're gonna just go disappear and go poop somewhere. Don't rely on them telling you the truth if you ask them "Do you need to go potty?" "Do you feel the poo poo comin'?" Does your tummy hurt? You need to go poop?" Don't rely on them to say "Yep! Yes that is the case mom! Let's go to the bathroom!!" They might not tell you. They might say "Nope I'm fine! I don't need to go! I'm good." "Don't take me to the bathroom, don't make me go poop!" "Don't make me sit on the potty!" They might actually try to get out of going to the bathroom altogether because they're avoiding going number two. So maybe what you could try is say: "Hey let's go pee-pee" "It's time to go pee pee." That's what the watch says, that's what my alarm says it's time to go pee pee." Maybe set a timer or a clock alarm or a potty watch around the time that they normally have their poo in their "poo window" and maybe then while they're there on the potty letting the pee come out hopefully they'll relax and release and let the poo come out too.
So don't rely on self-initiating at this point and don't rely on them to tell you that they have to go poop and just make sure that you're ready for your toddler. You're poised and positioned and ready to go so that when that poo-poo language starts happening: they're grabbing their hiney, they're rubbing their tummy, they're saying "Mommy my tummy hurts, Mommy I don't feel well, I need to go poo poos!" ...then you're ready with the potty and the wipes and the clean-up station to make it a quick easy process. Not messy, not intimidating, maybe not stinky even!
If the negative smell association is one of the things that's really triggering your kiddo to not want to go poo on the potty, have some smelly beautiful scented candles or room fresheners or some scented oil diffusers something that's a pleasant masking for the smell so that your kiddo doesn't start going off with their gag reflexes. Or just completely shut down and clam up and not let the poo-poo come out because they don't want it to smell. They're embarrassed about their poo, they're embarrassed about how it makes the room smell or mommy's look on her face going: "Good job sweetie, that's good pooping you're doing, you're doing great" Try not to let those things happen. Don't let your kiddo see you respond to the stinky smell. We need to teach our toddlers in training that poop is natural, poop is healthy and everybody poops! It's nothing to be ashamed of you need to normalize this process as much as possible. Normalize it, make it seem matter-of-factly and nonchalantly like; "Oh yeah everyone poops, yep my poop stinks too!" "Everybody poops and everybody's poop stinks!"
When you start to notice when your kiddos poo window is what time of day they have their BM whether it's after a meal, after breakfast, after lunch, after nap time (during nap time?) Make note of the time each day so that you can start narrowing it down to "oh my child poops between two and four" or "my child poops 30 minutes after eating breakfast" or "my child always poops right after a bottle" whatever your kiddo's window of time is for BMs is when you want to make sure that you're near a toilet. If going on the small toddler potty is where your child is comfortable going number two, have that handy move it from room to room, bring it to the play rooms, bring it to the kitchen, the tv areas, wherever your kiddo is during their poo window. And you'll be right there at the ready just in case that poo starts to come! Bringing that small potty wherever you are from room to room will help avoid that mad, panicked, crazy dash to the toilet and lifting them up by their armpits and running them through the house trying to get them to that toilet! Some kiddos actually prefer to sit on the big adult grown-up toilet. If that's the case, just make sure that you're near that area when the poo window comes. Make sure that you're in the bathroom. Pretend like you're doing some laundry or changing an outfit, changing clothes, or cleaning the bathroom basin sinks, whatever. Just make it something that you're doing in the bathroom with your child so that they know that they're nearby and you can catch that poo before it happens and you're already right there in the bathroom.
Start doing some activities near the potty or have the potty out in the living room with you or the play areas, that way it's right there. You've got a visual cue... the easier it'll be for you to catch that poo before it happens. Preventing a poo accident. Which is setting your child up for success! It's one less mess to clean up, one less traumatic stinky smelly situation to endure and one less negative experience for your toddler in training! If your kiddo is one that specifically just will not sit on the toilet at all when they know the poop is coming: maybe that's a time that you could start having a nice warm bath ready for them. Even if it's in the middle of the day! You know not every kiddo has to have a bath at bedtime right before the jammies go on and bedtime go to sleep. Bath time can be a fun activity that you can do in the middle of the day! Just something to do to pass time or to play or have something fun to do that's clean! Especially around poo time. I mean what better time to clean up after a poo mess and then you're clean and fresh for the rest of the day! And you don't have to worry about bathing them at bedtime when it's mostly chaotic and everyone's tired and grumpy and sleepy anyway right?
So when your kiddo's poo window is coming up: why don't you have that warm bath ready or start drawing a bath and bring your child into the bathroom so they can hang out with you they're gonna be near the potty and they're near the bathtub a nice warm bath can help your toddler relax. It might relax their tummy muscles it might be a place that they feel safe and clean and enveloped with warm water and it can help their tummy to relax so they can have the poo come out. Have that potty right there by the bathtub in case it happens while they're taking a bath or right after they're done in their bath. Just already being in that bathroom environment with your toddler and hanging out in the bathroom area by the bathtub getting ready for the bath, taking off their clothes, getting their towels and stuff ready will already just put your child in that frame of mind of "Okay I'm gonna be naked, I'm gonna be near the tub, there's a potty right here as a visual cue or a little reminder for me, there's a potty if I need it right there at the ready" and it'll just put your baby in that frame of mind of: okay it's the bathroom, it's the potty time, it's the bath time I'm naked. Let's get some poop going! When you start to feel the poo window coming and you know it's your child's time to go number two start talking to them about going to the bathroom and just getting a bubble bath ready.
Have some fun activities ready for them to do in the bathtub. Maybe blowing some bubbles with the bubble wand as an activity in the bathtub, something fun to do: blowing bubbles! What kiddo doesn't love bubbles? It gives them something to do, it's a distraction, but it's also something that helps their body push and use those muscles to help get that BM going. The act of blowing bubbles can kind of engage that diaphragm muscle and help move the other muscles around in there for the intestines and the tummy and the bowels and it'll kind of act as a internal massage to kind of get things moving along for them. Also get some scented foam soap or scented bubbles that'll help with that smell and the aroma and get the fruity fresh yummy flavors going in the scent in the room to help cover and mask the smell of a poo in case it happens. Especially if the smell is specifically the reason why your kiddo just doesn't like going number two. Maybe while they're soaking and relaxing in that nice warm bath and playing with bubbles and foam soap and scented aroma soaps and foams you can take a moment to give them a little belly rub. Just have some sudsy water or bubbles on your hands so that it's nice and slippery and just kind of pretend like you're washing them. Don't really bring attention to the fact that you're giving them an abdominal massage but just give them a little tummy rub and say you're giving them soap and putting the soap foam on their tummy and maybe making some little cute artsy foamy flowers on their tummy and draw some little pictures on their tummy. But just the act of the massaging and rubbing and kind of moving things for them might help move things along.
Be prepared for the poo to come out during the bath in the water. Poo happens! It might happen! Be prepared to clean up. Have a little trash bag handy so you can be prepared for that cleanup. Baby wipes, clorox wipes, something to quickly get that poo out of the tub or the water so that it's not floating around in there with your child and traumatizing them even further. Especially if the smell is specifically the reason why your kiddo just doesn't like going number two.
You can do this mommy's! With a little bit of patience, some compassion and a lot of love. I'm Miss Jen thanks for joining Nanny Knowledge
Thanks for stopping in - this is the end of part two. The link to part three and all the other episodes are down below in the description. If you have any questions please leave a comment! Thanks Again! Don't forget to subscribe to my youtube channel! Hit that notification bell.