Toddler Wont Poo on the Potty? Part 4
Having a tough time getting your todder-in-training to go POO on the potty?We're gonna dive right into talking about why you can't get your toddler to go poo on the potty. We're going to be talking about poop y'all.
My mommy clients and my potty training consulting clients are always asking me about this one specific problem: they can't get their kiddo to go poo on the potty! A majority of my consulting appointments are all about this! Why they can't get their kiddos to go poop on the toilet or even the small little toddler potty on the floor.
As a nanny and a child caregiver for over 39 years you can imagine I've potty trained a lot of kiddos! I urge you to take a look at my youtube potty training video series parts 1 - 5. You'll probably find a lot of tips and tricks in there that will help you with this.
So here I'm going to cover some very important tips and tricks that you can implement during your potty training process to avoid those poo poo problems. This is actually a pretty common issue. Most toddlers get the pee part down pretty quickly. Depending on the age, depending on the developmental stages, it's the poo part that always takes longer to learn and become comfortable with. Poo is the hard part! That's the hard part: the poopin'!
Another trick that might help your kiddo feel more secure on the toilet - this is of course when you're on the adult grown-up toilet - is to have them sit facing backwards on the toilet. They're facing the seat of the back of the toilet, facing the tank and they might feel a little bit more secure up there. They might feel like they're facing something that they can hold and grasp onto if they slip or fall forward or they feel unstable. I've even had some luck with bringing some dry erase magic markers so that they can do a little bit of artwork on the back of the toilet! It cleans off easily and it's a fun activity for them to do while they're sitting and facing backwards on the potty waiting for something to come out. If you don't have dry erase markers just tape a piece of paper up there and give them some crayons and let them do some potty art! Let them draw some pictures of flowers or rainbows or whatever.
Just giving your little one time. Give them time to sit down and relax and let things move on their own instead of pushing and forcing it. Just let them relax! Let them take their time! Some kiddos need time. You know how some people are - they need to be on the toilet reading their newspaper or their stack of magazines. They need time to let their bowels and their body just move naturally. But to have a child sitting on a toilet and grunting and pushing and straining that's just going to cause other issues and we don't want them to sit there too long pushing. But sitting and relaxing and allowing time for that process to happen, giving them something to do to stay entertained while they're waiting, that's fine! That's okay!
I know a lot of mommies and potty training specialists are all about get it done, sit down get, it done! Do your business there's no fun, there's no bubbles, there's no stickers, there's no fun and enjoying this! Just get it out and then once you're done with your business - two minutes, three minutes -you're done and get up and get off. And if nothing comes out we'll come back later. That just depends on you and your style. If you want your kiddo to be all about business get 'er done! Get it done and get off and just make it quick and if nothing comes out within the first two to three minutes - five minutes max and they're done and nothing's happening then they can get up clean themselves appropriately and go on about their day. But I can almost guarantee you your kid is probably going to have an accident within 5-10 minutes of having just sat down on that potty! Some kiddos just need more time. Some kiddos just don't respond well to pressure and rushing and stress!
So letting your little one have some music on while they're going poo, maybe like I said a nice warm bath, read them some books while they're sitting there on the toilet. Maybe you can even be on YOUR toilet right next to them, reading a book to them and you're both going poop together! Whatever it takes to get your child to relax and understand that the potty process doesn't have to be a stressful, manic, crazed, urgent, rushed, hurried process! Just allowing your child more time to go potty will teach your kiddo that it's not always about rushing and panicking and stressed and manic and running to the bathroom and getting it into the toilet in time! These things take time, allow your kiddo time! Give yourself some grace, give your child some grace.
If you're potty training a little boy who's afraid of sitting on the potty to go number two, it might be easier in the beginning just to teach them to go pee and poo number one and number two both, just sitting down. Rather than trying to teach a toddler how to stand up to go pee it might be confusing for a toddler to understand why you're having them stand up to pee but then sit down to go number two. I always have the best success just teaching a little boy to sit down to go pee and poo - at least in the beginning for a while.
Okay there is another technique that I've tried that is a little strange but I’ve had a lot of success with this specific method. If your toddler is afraid of sitting on the potty to go number two and they always ask for a diaper. "Mommy I need my pull-up!" "Mommy I need my diaper!" "I can't go poo on the potty - I need my pull-ups!" This is a safety net for them. This is something comfortable and familiar for them. Your child has been going poo in a diaper since the day they were born. One of the techniques I've tried that works pretty well for some kiddos is actually put a diaper or a pull-up inside their small toddler potty. This obviously won't work for a big adult grown-up toilet. Try opening up a diaper or a pull-up and setting it down inside the small toddler potty. This gives your toddler a place to sit down on a potty to go number two, but yet they still feel the comfort and the absorbency of that diaper that they're familiar with. It acts as a safety net for them. They feel like they're still going poo in a diaper or a pull-up, it still feels familiar and enclosed and cozy and snug. I've even had some success with setting a child on a small potty with their diaper on and just loosening up the fasteners on the side and just letting it kind of flap open for the first time or two and then day three or four maybe open it wider and eventually you're opening it wider and wider to where then they don't even feel like it necessarily needs to be snug and taped up around their belly or on their waist. But rather just where their hiney is sitting and resting. This makes for an easy poo clean up because it's already in the diaper and clothes and you can just throw it away. But it's also teaching your child that sitting in that position seated folded with their legs sitting will be a comfortable position for them to sit and go poo rather than squatting or laying down on their side or wherever they're normally used to going poo in their diaper. Sitting position with their knees up and their feet firmly planted on the floor.
Always praise those poop successes! Praise those potty successes! Lots of rewards, lots of accolades, lots of clapping and singing and praise! Do the pee-pee potty dance! Do the happy poo poo dance! If your child is shy or embarrassed or doesn't like too much attention brought to themselves - if you see their face getting pink and a little bit embarrassed that you're going overboard on the potty success celebration, then maybe the big hoopla and the potty party successes aren't necessary. You could give them a hug, tell them how proud you are, kiss them on the cheek, do a nice little quick clean up and then go celebrate together just the two of you. Go for a little bike ride, go to the park. Maybe they've had enough potty successes on their potty chart to earn a trip to the zoo with you or an ice cream cone. Or something special that they can earn and work their way up to and hopefully that will inspire them to keep trying and keep at it and do their best for you and have those potty successes.
The sooner you get on this with your kiddo, the sooner you're gonna have that kiddo trained and out of diapers and not pooping all over the house. I have potty trained kiddos who regressed so badly that they were four and five years old and still would not go poop on the potty! So we need to make these toileting habits and these toileting behaviors very comfortable. Practice getting your kiddo potty trained out in public at a public place where they're comfortable going. Maybe in those family style restrooms where it's just one family per stall or per room. Your kid is eventually going to need to go to school preschool, day care, high school. Your kid is going to need to be able to go poop anywhere and everywhere. We don't want to raise kiddos who are afraid to use a toilet anywhere but in their own house.
Practice using potties outside of your own home bring your little toddler potty with you to grandma's house or to a neighbor's house or a cousin's house or a best friend - play date! Practice using a toilet at a playground or a favorite place where they love to go like a frozen yogurt place or an ice cream place. We just need to raise our children to be not afraid to go to the bathroom in a public restroom or in a restroom that's not at home.
You know how it is when you have an urgent bathroom emergency! What do you do when you're not at home in the luxury of the privacy of your own home? Being able to go to potty at church or at school or at the library these are important steps - most schools and preschools are going to require your child to be potty trained anyway. If your kiddo has not learned how to use a toilet at school they're going to hold it all day! And these are things that can lead to medical issues like constipation, urinary tract infections, kidney infections, bladder infections and could cause long-term medical issues throughout their life.
I know this is really really tough stuff to go through - been there done that! And these weren't even my own kids these are other people's kids and other people's kids poop! I've come home with poop on my clothes, poop in my hair, poop in my eyebrows! So trust me: I know how messy this can get! I know how frustrating this can get and I know that it can make mommies feel like they're failing. You're not a failure! You just have a kid who is particularly harder to train and harder to catch on to the pooping on the potty. That doesn't make you a failure, doesn't make you a bad mom, doesn't make you a bad human! You're an amazing human! The fact that you're here right now reading this is proof that you care and proof that you're trying your best and you're stepping up your game and you're gonna do what it takes to get this kiddo not afraid to sit down on the potty to let their poop out!
Again be empathetic, think about what it is that's going on in your child's mind that's making it so hard for them to just relax and let the poop out. Think about your child's poops whenever you sit down on the toilet to go number two yourself. Think about what your body's doing. I know it's just second nature for us now that we're grown-ups, but think about what's happening to your tummy, to your hiney parts, the clean-up, the smell. And then put yourself in your little one's shoes.
Helping your child be more comfortable going poo on a toilet is the goal here - using whatever techniques and methods that we need to. No matter how bizarre or how strange. You gotta do what it takes to get your kiddo not to be afraid of pooping on the potty! I hope I can help! I hope you find this information helpful.
You can do this mommy's! With a little bit of patience, some compassion and a lot of love. Thanks for joining Nanny Knowledge with Miss Jen. Don't forget to subscribe to my youtube channel!
This is the end of part four. The link to all the other chapters of “Toddler Wont Poo on the Potty?” are down below. If you have any questions please leave a comment! Thanks again.